The Struggle Within

I am so excited for February 17th! One of my best friends in the entire world, Brendan <33, nailed a spot at the 9:30 club!!!!! And that's like, one of the biggest clubs in D.C. and he's going to be playing there!! This is absolutely amazing because he's been having SUCH a rough time right now so I really can't wait for this. And he's so happy. So yay! BUTTTTT I might not be able to go because I signed up for this college honors band and if I get into that, it's the same weekend! Argh!

Anyways, my internet crashed on Friday (WTF) so allllll weekend I haven't been able to get on. And that's basically the Chinese water torture. So I'm sitting in my mom's office (even though she's off today) using the internet because otherwise, I would have gone in withdrawal. But she's calling me away (boo), but I can't really complain too much because we're going to Panera. :)

Hope everyone had a really nice, long weekend!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Raven (reiben) for starting the 101 Goals because it reminded me of my OWN 101 goals, of which I am now totally siked to do again....so thanks. Haha.

Today in snowed and that made me soooo happy. I love snow. Even though we probably won't get off school tomorrow (boo), it's still nice. Although it's quite scary to drive in snow...just want to put that out there. I refused to drive to school today because of it so my mom had to take me. And when they announced we were getting out early, all the seniors in my tech class were FLIPPING out because my school is retarded and they don't plow the road/parking lot. It was pretty funny. I was all, haha I didn't drive today! Wow, I am mean.

A note on the music scene (haha get it? a NOTE? lol.)...there's this concerto competition for the U.S. Army Band. Totally trying out for it, although I have less than two weeks to get it ready. Haha. Whatever. I'm mainly doing it because you have to send in a cd, so I'm going to have to record it with my pianist and everything. Very exciting. If it's good, I'll put a link to it.

There is also the chamber music festival for school which is coming up. Sadly though, I am not doing Miklos Roza's piece (mentioned in 101). It's just too short of time to do it and with the concerto competition...not going to work out. I'm going to Wilson Osbourne's Rhapsody for Solo Clarinet, which isn't bad, so that's exciting. I also am working with Mark Hamilton (last chair clarinetist, football player, funny guy, you just have to meet him lol) for his chamber music, because how it goes is, every senior does a solo, and everyone else does a chamber music piece. But I asked him specifically if I could do a solo too (stupid competitiveness) and DS (wind ensemble's conductor, AKA Doc Sloc, Doctor Slocum, Doc, etc) said I could also help Mark out because he basically sucks. But I still love him. Mark, not DS.

Oh, wow! I exist! Updating has been impossible because of all the school work I've been getting lately PLUS all that practicing. But I'm still here...to let you all know. <3333. But pray for me because midterms are all this week AND with a SAT Practice Test (that's required WHY) on Friday. Can't wait. -_-

You know what I love? I love knowing I'm better than someone else. That probably makes me a bad person, but it's completely true. I guess I am just wayyy competitive. A couple of days ago, the orchestra people mailed out the new piece so we could start practicing and I text the other clarinetist (there's just two of us) and said that I would be on the first part. He gets all pissy and says, no way..it's my turn...blah blah blah. So, being the nice person I am, I say fine whatever, and I take second. That was Tuesday, I think. Anyways, I go to rehearsal today and the teacher hears I'm on second and he's like, no way you're on first. And the other clarinetist (Aaron) is like, fuck. And I'm just like, *evil laughter* for about ten minutes. Which is kind of mean. But I hate when people try and beat me on clarinet, like no. It doesn't work so just don't try. Am I sounding conceited by writing this? Probably.

But on a non-evil note, the other clarinetist is actually really nice. He's so funny; just a good person to sit next to and go through this whole thing with.

Actually, back to the evil side. So Nick was there (basically this guy that hit on me for like, two months then said he didn't want to go out...like WTF) and this is the first time I've seen him since he was like, I don't want to go out. And he was trying to be all nice and shit, and I was like, no. Not happening. Ugh and he tried to push my music over (He always use to do that before as a joke and like flirty and shit) and I got sooo mad. I kicked his chair so hard, it jumped and shit. And he turns around and just gives a look that I-can't-believe-you-just-did-that. Cause he's one of those guys that ALL the girls like and this is probably the first time, some girl (even though I use to like him) put him in his place. Felt so good. I seriously want to bitch-slap him, because he is just a jerk. Ughhhh why do I fall for wrong guys???? Boo. But not really. Lol. Okay, end.

So, I did end up getting my license on...Wednesday? I think Wednesday. It was pretty intense especially since I could not understand my instructor at all. He was one of those French Africans so he had a really heavy accent and it was so hard to understand. I keep asking, "What? Go here? Left?" Pretty amusing. Especially since he never told me if I passed or failed. I finished the course and he was like, get out and go back to the front desk. So I thought I had to fill yet another pointless piece of paper out but I go to the front desk and the woman there is, "CONGRATULATIONS!" I'm like, whoa I did pass. Haha. (He had bad handwriting too).

So I'm copying overclouding...lol and I got my other friend to do it. I think this is such an awesome idea.

MISSION 1001:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

MY LIST
Started: November 27th, 2007
End date: August 24th, 2010

Education
1-Check out Indiana U and Cincinnati U
2-Apply to colleges
3-Attend a summer music program
4-Achieve straight As at least once in high school
5-Double major with music education and music performance
6-Minor in creative writing (if possible)
7-Contribute at least 10 times in AP Lit I with Nicole as witness (1/10)
8-Expand vocabulary by using a new word a week for ten weeks (three segments) (0/10)(0/3)
9-Complete homework the day it's assigned for a whole week (reset this one) (0/5)
10-Take Accounting


Non-Traditional Learning
11-Get Driver's License!!
12-Take a sewing class
13-Start German classes (at college or German school)
14-Cook dinner for family for an entire week (0/7)
15-Learn how to do laundry...and then do it

Music
16-Practice every day for two weeks straight (0/14)
17-Read Theory book
18-Work on Music Composition book
19-Read Music History book and use workbook
20-Write a composition for clarinet
21-Learn Miklos Rosza Sonata and play it for the Fine Arts Open House
22-GET A SOLO IN JAZZ BAND AND DON'T FUCK IT UP
23-Buy a R-13 Festival B flat to match R-13 Festival A
24-Go to Andre Rieu's concert in Spring
25-Go to at least three more concert events at Strathmore (0/3)
26-Memorize at least three pieces for auditions (0/3)
27-Go to Warped or Virgin Festival
28-Get into Susquehanna University's Honors Band
29-Learn one classical piece for saxophone
30-Get guitar strings and have Brendan/Nick/myself put them on

Reading/Writing/Art
31-Read at least 50 books off of "1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die." (0/50)(Not including ones I've already read prior to this)
32-FINISH AT LEAST ONE OF THE INSCRUTABLE CHRONICLES THAT I'VE STARTED
33-Print out "Don't Quit" poem and hang it in room
34-GET PICASSO'S "Hands with Bouquet"!!!!!!!
35-Read The Decameron
36-Read Purgatory and Paradise by Dante

Spiritual
37-Find a church that's likeable
38-Pray every night (even if it's crap) for one month (0/31)
39-Buy a Devotional Book
40-Read Power of Positivity
41-Remember that God loves everyone so that gives you no right to not love anyone
42-Go to confession every 'season' (0/6)
43-Attend retreat union
44-Become a retreat leader
45-Thank God for five different things every day for a week (0/7)

Health
46-Eat only salad for lunch for two weeks (0/14)
47-Run on treadmill/around neighborhood every day for a week (3 segments) (0/7)
48-Do 50 crunches a day for two weeks (0/14)
49-Keep a food diary for a month (0/31)
50-Follow work-out book for one month (0/31)
51-Join the Y
52-Take multivitamin everyday along with Zinc supplement
53-Walk to Rivendell (3/458 miles)
54-Create playlists that are energetic for workouts
55-Eat breakfast every day for a month (0/31)
56-No coffee for two weeks (0/14)
57-Ride bike around Gettysburg
58-Drink nothing but water for two weeks (except when taking pills) (0/14)

Relationships with Family and Friends/Other People
59-Visit Kristin and Chris's new apartment
60-Visit Becky at college
61-Spend a day with the bro
62-Have a conversation with someone I don't know well
63-Ask Grandma about her political career
64-Forgive Grandpa
65-Don't turn down party invitations unless there's a really good reason. "I don't feel like going" is not a good reason.
66-Go see one of Leslie's shows
67-Go to at least one of Tim's football games
68-Talk to Nick about going to college again (Didn't need to! He's in community college now! Yay!)
69-Send brother a random care package
70-Buy someone a valentine
71-Talk to that guy that cleans up the side of the road every week
72-See Awo again
73-Go to one of Elisa's restaurants!
74-Call Keyrah at least once a month (0/31)

Self-Improvement
75-Write down 50 things that I like about myself
76-Write 10 things I don't like about myself...then fix them
77-Resist being critical of people you don't even know
78-Do 5 random acts of kindness a month (0/5 acts, 0/34 months)
79-Get a job
80-Wake up before 9 everyday for a month (0/31)
81-Meditate once a week (0/143)
82-Talk with confidence
83-Go to bed by 9 for a week (0/7)
84-Don't give up so easily
85-Stop talking about guys so much because no one cares (except on here, of course)

Buy
86-A new wallet
87-A watch
88-A good digital camera
89-A mattress

Just Because
90-Drive up to Grandma's by myself
91-Write thank-you notes for Xmas and Bdays (0/6)
92-See Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
93-Walk across the Annapolis Bay Bridge
94-Visit that modern art museum that Mr. Handler is always complaining about
95-Do the Fasting thing for school
96-Buy Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
97-Decorate locker
98-Document an entire day with just photographs
99-Start a scrapbook
100-Learn to swing dance
101-Write a new 101 in 1001 list when time is up

Siriusly. I'm so sick of everything. You have no idea. I feel like death. Everything is sooo screwy right now, it's lost all its humor. Blehhh. I wish I was a lot prettier...that I didn't have really broad shoulders and hips that stick out to next Tuesday. Trevor Moore is really hot. I know that's random but I'm watching reruns of The Whitest Kids U Know...in which he stars in.

I hate school. Like, a lot. So much work and it's all pointless. Think about it. When are we ever going to need to know how to graph a polynomial function? Uhmmmmm....NEVER. Especially, when you go into MUSIC, all this shit is totally worthless to me.

I don't feel like writing anymore.

End.